TemplesWorld

Accountability is a Bitch

Fri, 15 Sep 2017 20:44:03 -0700

Nothing like the sting of taking a look at your frustration and anger about certain circumstances and realizing, “Did I do that?!” (Urkel voice)

Being a conscious creator is not for the faint of heart. (Cheers to me because I refrained from saying what you thought I was going to say.) My manifesting game is very strong these days. I think about what I want or need and then I feel the universe moving things in the background to get me there. There are many big things that I have yet to receive, but on the day to day, things have been lining up almost as fast as I can think of them. Here's the catch though. When your energy is lined up to be a good receiver, there is a chance that you are also going to draw in the opposite of what you want.

Let me explain…

We all have a negative comfort zone as well as a positive comfort zone. It’s usually looks like something you were accustomed to dealing with as a kid. For example if your parent was a slob or hoarder and you got used to living in filth, it would not be unnatural for you as an adult to then attract a mate that doesn’t clean or you yourself feel fine not cleaning your house and living in piles of crap. So that would be your negative comfort zone. You consciously know that you should not live in filth and that it is not what you want to do, but somehow you have attracted an environment of filth that you're living in along with plenty of great things that you manifest at the same time.

Get it?

The hard part is catching yourself to not attract the negative comfort zone stuff when you're in a good manifesting place.

I have had a negative comfort zone of living with highly emotional people. Unpredictably emotional. So as I got older I was very comfortable having highly emotional relationships. Usually it was both myself and my partner that were highly emotional and combustible.

As I got older and more conscious, I did...Read More

Monkey see, monkey do.

Mon, 24 Jul 2017 11:59:12 -0700

Recently I had a conversation with a girlfriend who is getting a tattoo of a cross on her arm. I said , I didn’t even know you went to church. She said I don’t. I just love Jesus in my own way and I don’t really talk about it because I don’t want people to judge me for the things I do.
That makes me so sad to hear things like that. Why do we have to hide our faith? Is it that if you're not a perfect person and have it all together, then people won’t take you seriously as someone of faith? I think that it is exactly.
People don’t want to be judged by others.
Period.
Well it’s called religious freedom for a reason. Were SUPPOSED to be able to practice our faith in the way we each see fit and no one else is SUPPOSED to judge you for it.
I told my girlfriend, I have been judged about my faith practice for so long that I don’t care anymore. I have had a message on my heart for as long as I can remember. It is to love people where they are and to show compassion when you don’t want to.
Does that mean I do that every time?
NO, but I sure try. Everyday. To be better than yesterday.
Anytime I don’t like the way someone act's, I look for the story behind the behavior. What drives that person to be so mean and hurtful? It’s always because of the most basic principle that we all follow…
Monkey see, monkey do.
Some asshole parented a little kid and turned that kid into a new and improved asshole. I know that’s over simplifying, but really, it pretty much comes down to that doesn’t it?
Don’t you find yourself mimicking the same stuff your dumb parents did? I am not trying to disrespect my parents or anyone else's. I love my parents very much and they did the very best they could with what they had. They made many great decisions as parents and just as many bad ones. So did EVERY parent.
We do it unconsciously....Read More

Co-dependent is the new independent

Mon, 10 Jul 2017 17:50:37 -0700

My husband said to me, “I don’t know how to handle it when you are emotional.”
I said, “So learn.”
He made that statement with the feeling that if I tell her that I can’t handle this then I will just be off the hook to handle it.
Just because you don’t know how to handle something doesn’t stop the world from putting you in front of it. You don’t get to PASS.
We are not born knowing how to HANDLE anything stressful very well. Just dropping a binky will put a baby into an emotional meltdown. But over time we learn that the binky comes back from these nice people that are hovering over us all the time. Soon it becomes fun to drop the binky just so the big people will pick it up.
Stating to your spouse that you can’t handle something means that it’s time to do some homework.
My emotions are not just going to dissappear because he doesn’t know how to be around them. In fact it makes me more emotional that I get rejected just when I really need love.
Let me give you a hint, husbands. Women are designed to laugh when they’re happy and cry when they are hurting. I know that men do not get the luxury of feeling a variety of emotions like women do. Men basically get happy, indifferent or mad and they get to cry when some they love dies.
Where women get a multitude of emotions to choose from, joy, sadness, frustration, irritation, elated, worried, and on and on, sometimes several times in a day. We are allowed to cry for any reason whatsoever. TV, kids, stress, love, anything.
So I empathize for the men, I really do.
That still doesn’t mean you get a hard PASS when you have come across a relationship speed bump and you don’t know how to get over it.
It used to frustrate me so much about 20 years ago when I would talk to my parents about things that I was aware of that were not from their generation and they would just...Read More

It’s not personal, I just need to tell you something crappy about you.

Tue, 27 Jun 2017 12:26:04 -0700

I woke up one morning in a funk. I got a collection call from an old utility bill that I forgot about after moving years ago. It was 6 years old. The guy on the phone said that he wasn’t trying to be hard on me, he just wanted me to be aware that I have a debt out there and that I need to take care of it.
I was like, thank you for calling me to remind me that I’m a flaky douchebag that doesn’t pay her bills. That was my first thought. Then I went down the rabbit hole of every other thing in my life that needs attention. And every other thing in my life that I need to make a plan for.
Isn’t it funny when someone says it’s not personal, how personal it feels?
I had another similar experience that someone left a review about my room I rented out and said things that weren’t true. I asked him why didn’t he just message me directly that he wasn’t happy or just say something to me while he was here before he put it on my public profile? He said it wasn’t personal, he just wanted other people to know so they would be aware of what he thought.
What about that is not personal dude?!
People often think it is their responsibility to tell you and anyone else they can when they think you’re a piece of shit.
Why is that?
I’ll tell ya why. Because it feels better to blame someone else for your experience then to take responsibility for what you have created.
It feels empowering to say, “It’s not personal, but… you suck. Because if the other person sucks and you see it, then you must not suck, right?
Oh yes, blame feels so much better than personal disappointment. Or the pain of having to speak up for what you want instead of it just being handed to you because you think you should have it and you think the other people around you should know how to give it to you.
Or even worse you have spoken up, a bunch of times and you still are not...Read More

Who’s a bossy bitch? Not me!

Fri, 09 Jun 2017 16:49:50 -0700

I took a personality test of sorts that identified us as birds. There was a percent that came up for each person as a the bird type that was the most dominant and then a maybe one or two other supporting bird type personalities. Ok cool, it’s always fun to do self awareness stuff like that,(for me anyways). I think most of us are ego driven in that way that we enjoy anything that talks about us, right?
So the supporting bird for me was a songbird. Made perfect sense. I love to entertain and to be in front of people. I actually even sing. The songbird thrives on cheering people up and can get all swept up in the playful stuff of life. Very true for me. One of my favorite things is when no one else wants to sing karaoke and I can sing ALL the songs, as long as there is anyone in the audience that wants to listen. One of the most exciting things I ever found was a karaoke machine at this dive bar/ Asian restaurant that was like a little jukebox that you just put dollars in and sang! No KJ to regulate me!
The other supporting role was a Dove, I think. Pretty much a personality that cares deeply for others and wants to nurture.
Songbird? Yep. Dove? Yep. No problem owning it.
Now here comes the part that I wasn’t sure how to be proud of about myself. The leading bird type that was like 75% was a Rapture.
A BIRD OF PREY!
Swooping in and killing all the field mice. Big. Over shadowing.
This one was not as fun to embrace. But I totally get it of course. I have always been a manager, in charge of things. Forever. My brain see's a problem and immediately wants to swoop in and bring the solution. The challenge is when the other people can’t see what I see and resist. I guess that is where the Rapture comes into play. God has given me a gift of foresight and it is usually so strong that even I can’t stop the energy that is going to happen once I have the solution....Read More

It's a cruel summer- You need some vitamin G.

Thu, 01 Jun 2017 10:45:02 -0700

Song in my head:
“It’s a cruel, cruel summer,
Leaving me here on my own”
Bananarama
Living in the Pacific North West is a beautiful thing. You can’t get much greener then this, but there is a price to pay of course, lot’s and lot’s of rainy days.
Apparently, about 70 percent of Americans and up to one billion people worldwide have insufficient levels of vitamin D ( the happy vitamin), not to mention the many other benefits that come from sunlight. Like melatonin, which helps us sleep. Everyone I know has a hard time sleeping. Which leads to over loading of caffeine to get energy. And on and on we go. It’s cruel for sure.
I’m originally a California girl and the sun has been my best friend since birth. I lived in my bathing suit till about age 10. I think I was born with arm floaties on,cause we had a dough-boy pool, that was my other best friend.
The sun exposure set the stage of my upbeat attitude in life and my ability to laugh when it doesn’t make sense to. (And often when I shouldn’t).
This is why I know God has a bigger picture than we ever realize till we look back.
The way I grew up, from my parents and siblings and extended families personalities, to my school teachers, to the state I was living in was all part of the bigger picture on developing my soul to be who I was meant to be. To go through what I was going to go through.
The plan of our lives is so intricate! It blows my mind sometimes. The details that had to happen to make you, well YOU. It’s wild isn’t it?!
OK, coming back to my lack of vitamin D. The rainy days tend to isolate us, so you better like the people you live with or at least like being with yourself (and a kitty, in my...Read More

Are you winning?

Tue, 23 May 2017 12:22:32 -0700

This mornings song in my head:
“Nobody ever told me
I found out for myself
You gotta believe in foolish miracles
It's not how you play the game
It's if you win or lose
You can choose, don't confuse, win or lose
It's up to you
It's up to you
It's up to you
It's up to you
Go, go, go”- Ozzy
Wow, this one really got me thinking.
So often we are concerned as to how things look. How we are playing the game. We all want to look good don’t we? We want the nice house and the loving spouse and beautiful kids. I have seen it. I have seen the people that look like they have it all going on, but at home, behind close doors, in the private spaces of their minds, they are hurting. They are not winning.
What good are the appearances if you feel empty inside? If your kids would rather be anywhere then hanging out with you?
What good is your rockin body that you work so hard for, if your spouse would rather be hanging out with the “fluffy girl” at work because she thinks he’s smart and laughs at his jokes? (Oh she went there? Yes I did. )
Appearances are bullshit. We are at an age where we can take our picture 50 times to get a good one. Believe me I am guilty of this too. It’s become a huge distraction to what really matters and what people really care about. Remember when we only had the disposable cameras and how great they came out?! With only one chance to get it!
My best friend and I have a thing we do.
We always take a picture of us with no makeup and no filter every year. So we can always be real with each other.
Those are some of my favorite pictures. Usually right after we have been crying because we didn’t want to say good bye or while we were sitting have our coffee/tea on the deck in the morning and laughing....Read More