I took a personality test of sorts that identified us as birds. There was a percent that came up for each person as a the bird type that was the most dominant and then a maybe one or two other supporting bird type personalities. Ok cool, it’s always fun to do self awareness stuff like that,(for me anyways). I think most of us are ego driven in that way that we enjoy anything that talks about us, right?
So the supporting bird for me was a songbird. Made perfect sense. I love to entertain and to be in front of people. I actually even sing. The songbird thrives on cheering people up and can get all swept up in the playful stuff of life. Very true for me. One of my favorite things is when no one else wants to sing karaoke and I can sing ALL the songs, as long as there is anyone in the audience that wants to listen. One of the most exciting things I ever found was a karaoke machine at this dive bar/ Asian restaurant that was like a little jukebox that you just put dollars in and sang! No KJ to regulate me!
The other supporting role was a Dove, I think. Pretty much a personality that cares deeply for others and wants to nurture.
Songbird? Yep. Dove? Yep. No problem owning it.
Now here comes the part that I wasn’t sure how to be proud of about myself. The leading bird type that was like 75% was a Rapture.
A BIRD OF PREY!
Swooping in and killing all the field mice. Big. Over shadowing.
This one was not as fun to embrace. But I totally get it of course. I have always been a manager, in charge of things. Forever. My brain see's a problem and immediately wants to swoop in and bring the solution. The challenge is when the other people can’t see what I see and resist. I guess that is where the Rapture comes into play. God has given me a gift of foresight and it is usually so strong that even I can’t stop the energy that is going to happen once I have the solution.
Then I started thinking about all the women I know and realized that they were ALL Raptures!There were lots of different levels, but for the most part, all the women in my network felt the same way I did. If the people in their life, (husband, kids, coworkers, family) would just do what they wanted them to do then their lives would be so much better.
A big bunch of bossy bitches we are! And God help the ones that stand in our way. When us Raptors don’t get what we want, watch out! We have so many ways of breaking you down.
Showing you the way.
Fast talking logic.
If that doesn’t work we have…
Yelling and screaming.
Withholding/ taking something away from you.
Or the classic...
Sheer stamina of out fighting you.
Oh what would we be if we did not have the songbird and the dove to balance us out!
Where do you think “happy wife, happy life” came from? Because when the beast is fed the whole world is at peace.
How do we feed the beast? By getting our way, right?
I have struggled with this so many times to be at peace when things are not going the way I want them to and I just keep powerhousing my way through. It worked many times, right up until I married a man with bipolar disorder!
Game over. None of my Rapture tactics can work on him. He out Raptures me every time, because he has no limit to what he is willing to give up to not be under someone else's control. His phone, his car, his home, it doesn’t matter. If it means he walks away from something he doesn’t like then so be it.
Not everyone gets the gift of a bipolar to help gain control of your bullshit like I did.
So if you don’t have a bipolar, you have to figure this out on your own.
There is a fine line between confident decision making, being the leader of your own life and being a bossy bitch.
If the people around you have to feed the beast (giving you whatever you want) for there to be peace, then you're not really in alignment with peace. It’s false. Because it can only be there under that condition. Real peace comes from dealing with the push-back and finding a way to live with it or having the strength the get away from it.
When your loved ones have a mind of their own. (How dare them!) It will piss you off.
Stay in your lane gurl!
So learn to feed the beast yourself.
Find the things that bring you joy that don’t include others and do that as often as possible. Line yourself up with the other people outside of your family that you know you can be yourself and they love you anyway.
Choose your battles wisely my friend. You only have so much energy to waste on anger before it turns into illness. Then you have a much bigger mess on your hands.
Fly my beautiful Raptors! FLY!